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I clasp the flask between my hands. It's full of alcohol. Everyone has been heavily drinking since last night, the night when The Curse Of Rebecca Black was inflicted upon us. Well, everyone except for Peeta. Apparently Peeta's parents always told him that drinking is bad. In fact, he had a song that he sung to us.
Don't be bad Do not drink It will make you sad So do not drink
To make things worse, my relationship with Gale has been rocky since the curse. Rue wasn't having much luck with him either. Nothing would be able to cheer me up now. Nothing at all....
"DANCE THE NIGHT AWAY LIVE YOUR LIFE AND STAY YOUNG ON THE FLOOOOOOR!!!"
Oh god. It's Peeta's song and dace routine. Peeta jumped out in a sparkling, tight body suit. I immediately shut my eyes.
It was horrible. Off tune. And horrible. I was furious. Peeta thought his voice was better than mine! I run up to him and start singing the song with my sexy voice.
"Katniss, you sound so beautiful!" Peeta exclaims.
"I know," I reply confidently.
Just then, Gale walks into the room.
"What's going on here?" he asks, puzzled.
"GALE!" I run and jump towards him, but he doesn't catch me. "Ow, Gale. You were supposed to catch me. Wait, who is SHE?" I point towards a blonde headed girl who is standing next to Gale. I study her from head to toe. Hmm, I'm still hotter than her. She shouldn't be any competition.
"Katniss, this is my ex-girlfriend, Madge."
"WHAT!?!?!?!" I scream at the top of my lungs. "YOU TOLD ME YOU ONLY HAD EYES FOR ME. YOU LIAR!!!"
"Catnip, she's my ex. I'm not dating her anymo-"
I look over at Madge. "YOU *****!!!" I jump ontop of Madge and start pulling her hair. I was going to kill this girl.
"Help, Gale! Stop! HELP!" she shrieked.
"Gale isn't going to help you now you spoiled brat!" I laugh maniacally. Suddenly, I am lifted into the air and thrown onto the couch. I then realize that Gale was the one who threw me. He runs to Madge and comforts her. Ughhh, gaaaag. Gale shoots me a look of venom before carrying her upstairs.
Peeta taps me on the shoulder, and I turn around. "What do you want?" I ask rudely.
Peeta looks hurt for a moment before replying. "Are you okay?"
"I don't need you to ask me, Peeta. Now go away." I guess that really made Peeta upset because after that, he pretty much starts bawling.
I roll my eyes and walk into the kitchen. "Katniss, there you are!" Glimmer comes bouncing up to me, her blonde hair flowing like a magic carpet. I always wished that the magic carpet would just crash one day and blow up, but I kept it to myself. "GUESS WHAT, KAT."
"I. Made. It. To. The. Capitol's. Next. Top. Model."
"WHAT? You mean CNTM?"
That didn't make any sense. The Capitol would take her in as a competitor but not me?
"And guess who I'll be competing against!!!!"
"AAAAAAAAAH!" we both scream in unison.
"Wait, Glim. What about the Curse of Rebecca Black? In 6 days we might all be dead!"
"Kat, you have to stop the curse before it's too late! I don't want to die during judging panel! I swear I will kill you if that happens!"
"You and I will be dead. That's impossible."
"Ugh, whatever. Just break the curse, okay? See you later!" Glimmer chirps as she blows me a kiss and skips away.
Break Rebecca Black's curse. How? I barely have anyone to help me. Clove told me that Cato has been oogling at Glimmer for too long, so Clove decided to show Cato she was just as beautiful by signing up for CNTM herself! She brought Cato with her, which means I am already two men down. Not only that, Foxface thinks she's doomed to die, and therefore has decided to spend the next 6 days with her family before her demise. Another man down. That only leaves me, Gale (if he isn't angry at me anymore), useless Madge, Rue (ughh), and unfortunately, Peeta. However, I knew I had to set my priorities straight. What is more important right now. My life or my relationship with Gale? That's easy. My relationship with Gale, of course!
Since I knew I had to make Gale fall in love with me again, I decided I needed some help from the Internet. I searched online and found a site called "How to Make Your Man Shake His Babymaker". Although the name of the site was a bit questionable, I was pretty sure that the information provided would be useful. The author of the site was named: Rueflower. Ha! What a stupid name. Okay, now step 1. Guys always like a girl with a good sense of humour. Impress your man by telling him jokes. I recommend Anti-Jokes. Hmmm. Anti-Jokes. Quickly, I googled some and came up with a few jokes for Gale. Well, here goes nothing.
I ran towards his bedroom (we all live in a giant Victor House after Gale won the Funner Games) and knocked on his door. "Who is it?" I heard him ask.
"Katniss, I'm kind of busy right now. Can you wait a moment?"
Gale can't tell me what I can or cannot do. I barge into his bedroom, only to find him on his bed with Madge ontop of him, kissing passionately. Exes aren't supposed to kiss! What's going on? Madge looks towards me and lets out a small shriek before rolling off of Gale. I then realize that she only has a bra and underwear on, and Gale is shirtless.
"Ummm, Gale, see you later." Madge fumbles before running out of the room.
I walk towards Gale. "What was that all about? Aren't you two exes?"
"Katniss, it's just that-"
"You know what, nevermind, Gale. I came here to tell you a few jokes. Ready?"
Gale looks puzzled for a moment. "Ok, sure."
"Where should I start... Okay. What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer."
"We're both lawyers." I start bursting out in laughter, but Gale remains emotionless. "Okay, here's a better one. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?"
"I can't find my tractor!" I start bursting out in laughter again, but Gale remains emotionless. "Okay, why did the boy drop his ice cream?"
"Because he was hit by a bus!" I laugh, but Gale does not.
"Katniss, just get out of my room."
Step 1. Failed.
Since the failure of step 1, Gale and I are even more distant. We barely glance at each other. I had to do something, especially since Gale and Madge have been exchanging kisses almost every 5 minutes. Disgusting. I should be that *****. Time to go back onto Rueflower's website. Okay, step 2: Make your man jealous. Great, I know the perfect guy to use!
I walk over to Thresh's room. "Thresh, it's Katniss."
"Come in," he replies.
I open the door and grab him, pulling him into the living room where Gale and Madge are kissing. I grab Thresh and pull him into a passionate kiss.
"Katniss, what the ****?"
"Shut up and kiss me, Thresh."
"Katniss, stop it."
I stop kissing him and find Gale and Madge staring at me.
"Katniss, the truth is," Thresh says, turning red, "I have a crush on Glimmer."
WHAT? DOES EVERYONE LIKE GLIMMER?
Thresh is quiet for a moment before continuing. "I have to go. I have to go compete on The Capitol's Next Top Model."
"Thresh, there are much better girls than Glimmer. Take me for example." I say sympathetically. Gale shoots me a look of venom, but I ignore it.
"No, Katniss. You don't understand. Quit acting like Rachel Berry for one moment, would you? Glimmer is amazing."
Last time on CNTM.
Thresh has an outburst. "GLIMMER YOU ARE MINE AND WILL ALWAYS BE MINE!"
And Cinna is not impressed. "Thresh, learn some manners!"
Finnick impresses once again. Cinna is impressed. "Finnick, you are looking fiiiinnne!"
I shut off the television. Useless. I quickly grab my PineappleBook Pro and visit Rueflower's site. Step 3: Take him to a movie.
Hmmm... sounds good. I scan the list of movies and pick some random film that seems very popular with teens. I run to Gale's room.
"Gale, want to watch a movie with me tonight?" I ask him, batting my sexy eyelashes.
"Ummm, sure. Mind if I bring Madge?" he asks.
YES. YES. I. DO. "Of course not, Gale!" I exclaim.
Later that day, we arrive at the theatre and take our seats. The movie begins.
THE HUNGER GAMES.
HA! Stupid title.
Wait, why does that girl look like me.
Wait, why does she have the same name as me.
Wait, why is that blonde girl so pretty.
Wait, why is that look a like of me kissing a look a like of Peeta.
Wait, why is that guy's beard to awesome.
Wait, why are those bees eating that pretty blonde.
Wait, what shampoo does that pretty blonde use.
Wait, why is that guy making a cheesy speech.
By the end of the movie, I was shocked. THE WRITERS WERE SO JEALOUS OF ME THAT THEY PUT ME IN A DEATH TOURNAMENT.
"Gale, I had an amazing night." I say.
"So did I." smiles Madge.
We both stare at him admiringly.
Then, he takes Madge and kisses her.