So I plan to start this as soon Camp Hunger Games 2 finishes... It's about a comunity of families... That are fecking cray cray... SIGN UP!
Family 1 -
- Jade (mother of Toast)
- Callam (husband of Jade and father of Toast)
- Toast (wife of Kaeghan)
- Kaeghan (husband of Toast)
Family 2 -
- Erlend (Husband of Anna)
- Anna (Wife of Erlend)
Family 3 -
- Emma (single)
Family 4 -
- Kiki (Cousin of Dani)
- Dani (Cousin of Kiki)
- Caylin (Friend of Kiki)
Family 5 -
- Jay (husband of Summer)
- Summer (wife of Jay)
- Rebekah (Daughter of Summer and Jay)
- Jinx (Daughter of Summer and Jay)
Family 6 -
- Blake (single)
Family 7 -
- Colin (ex-husband of Liza)
- Liza (ex-wife of Colin)
- Will (Colin's father)
Family 8 -
Other Characters -
- Panda (Janitor/Gardener)
- Aspen (The Mayor of the town)
- Banana (Recurring Extra Character)
- Queen Honey (A Junkie)
- Bryan (The Owner of the Bar "Drunken Texan")
Once opon a time in the
peaceful hell-like community "Wind Hills" a group of neighbour co-existed fighted to death. The apartments block was modern and of high standard. Everybody had a life and a family and were happy.
In the Attic A with lovely views lived one of the most evventful families, it consisted of the two owners of the flat, Toast who was an aspiring actress and her husband Kaeghan, a computer technitian. A few
weeks months ago Jade, Toast's mother who was a failure of an actress after she got "raped" by her husband Callam and got preggers forcing him to marry her, came over to stay some "days" with the family. 4 months, 23 days and counting babe. Last but not least was Aston, Kaeghan's father. He used to live in a flat bellow but sell it after his wife died while cooking an omelete (some say he killed her, some say she tripped and her face landed ont he boiling omelet and she choked omelete to death.)
In the 1st floor A there was a lovable couple that were married for over 15 years. Anna, a good religious woman and Erlend her loyal husband who owned a frozen seafood company. The thing was that Erlend liked "games" in bed-time. You know stuff liek Heidi and the Grampa, Little red Riding Hood and the policemen doing the alcohol test (blow right here babe!). In the Attic B lived Emma, she was a single lawyer that recently moved to the building after the woman that lived there left the community and became a nun to evade her neighbours.
On the 1st floor B three single girls lived there. Kiki was a businesswomen. Dani was Kiki's cousin who didnt work and stayed in home all the day trying to make Kiki's life hell. Then was Caylin who was Kiki's friend and stayed there cause she was amazing. Caylin worked as a helper in a book shop even though she hated books.
On the 2nd Floor B lived Jay, a ex-bussiness man who got fired after he accidently pushed down a woman down the stairs. His wife Summer, a worked at a fashion shop and alst but not least, Rebekah and Jinx their lovely childs who loved annoying them.
At 2nd Floor C lived Blake, a single guy that selled vacuum cleaners.
At the bottom floor B lived Colin, a councilor of childhood and festive events with his father, Will. There was also his ex-wife Liza. She dissapeared 3 years ago with a note that said "Water the flowers" and returneed a year ago from India after she found herself.
At the 1st Floor C lived Annie and Berry, two eldery women that enjoyed making hell out of everybody's lifes.
And finally there was Panda who was the janitor of the community. He lived in a caravan parked infront the building and was known for his espicallity in weed.
A Divorce, Jade: The Film and The Atomic Clowns Attack
At Wind Hills it was a lovely morning and the birds sang. In the Bottom Floor B's garden Liza sat in the grass with her legs crossed and her hands lefted as she medidated. She was about to reach the heavens with her mind just then the noice started.
"DEAD FRIENDS IT'S TIME FOR A COMUNITY REUNION!" She heard Erlend's voice as he was pounding a cooking pot with a wooden spoon in his valcony.
Soon Berry and Annie popped out in their own valcony
"ERLEND YOU SON OF A B*TCH WE WHERE WATCHING TV!" Berry yelled.
"WELL WE HAVE A COMUNITY REUNION EVERYBODY HAVES 10 MINUTES BEFORE IT STARTS"
After about ten minutes all the neighbours were sitting in the sofa that was in the entrance hall. Erlend with his wife Anna sat on a table at the other side.
"Welcome neigbours to another comunity reuinion!" Erlend started "Today we will debate one of the most important, who is the new PRESIDENT!"
Everybody groaned since being the president meant being annoyed to death by everybody. "Since Kristina the old president moved away after I left her a little welcome gift on her living room-"
"YOU KILLED KRISTINA YOU MAD MAD!" Annie yelled grabbing a tomato from her bag (yes old people have random stuff in their bags) and throwing it at Erlend missing.
"-Ok so I volunteer to be the new president!" Erlend cheered "Unless ANYBODY else wants to be it... Any volunteers?"
"Nononono" Everybody said
"Ok so here is the new rule, ALL WOMEN MUST GO THROUGH A SANITARY BREAST CANCER TEST TODAY ON MY FLAT!"
"Go and f*ck off!" Dani yelled grabbing a tomato from Annie's bag and throwing it.
"Ok so wants to be the vice-president?" -Silence...
"THE LAST ONE TO TOUCHE HIS NOSE IS THE VICE!" Jay yelled as he reached for his nose.
The last one to not touch his nose was Colin. "NO WAY IM WORKING WITH THIS MENTALLY UNSTABLE MAN!"
"C'mon Colin you and I will have fun your wife left you for a woman anyways!" Erlend smiled
"The women insident was an experiment I did on France ok?!" Liza yelled
"That makes Liza the wife of the vice! She shall represent the comunity and attend tot he comitees-"
"I DIVORCED COLIN TO MARRY TO THAT BAOBAB REMEMBER?!"
"Latest news, Colin is was so boring in the bed Liza finds more entertaining to have sex with plants!" Berry yelled as Annie took notes to later write 'The Wind Hills Times'
"Anyways the meeting is over! Everybody stop talking about my wife's fetishes and go back to their houses!" Colin said. Everybody did so and dissappeared.
After a while Toast and Kaeghan made their way to their flat. They found Callam in the sofa watching tv.
"Dad where is mom?" Toast asked
"Drunk like always" Callam shrugged. Just then they heard the noice of high-heels hitting the spiral ladders.
"F*cking ladders... ONE OF THESE DAY YOU WILL FIND ME DAD CAUSE THIS CRIMAL STAIRCASE!" Jade yelled. She had an empty bottle of whiskey on her hand. "Kaeghan prepare me another whiskey, i want this one with a lemon." She slurred as she walked to the sofa.
"This woman haves a liver that should be studied by the NASA... It's from another planet..." Callam muttered.
"Oh yeah mom, Erlend became the new president." Toast said as she walked towards the stairs.
"NO FUCKING WAY!" Jade yelled "He aint gonna grab my boobs! Last time I letted somebody grab them I had you! HORRIBLE DAY!"
"She basicly raped me and made me marry her..." Callam coughed
"Oh yeah Toast my lovely unwanted child give me some moneeeeeeeeeeeey!" Jade slurred
"For what mom?" Toast asked crossing her arms and looking at Jade with a suspicious glare
"I WANT TO DO A MOVIE ABOUT MY LIFE!" Jade said bouncing up adn down breaking one of the high heels "CHEAP PIECES OF SH*T!"
"Mom... You do realise that will cost alot" Toast asked
"Yeah but you get payed alot in thsoe series how was is called 'Twilight' ?" Jade said as she hugged her daughter
"Umm.. It's called Bloody Boarding School" Toast replied
"Whatever both are vampire porn! My film will be pure culture and emotion!" Jade said reaching for Toast's purse.
"Fine then..." Toast said "No more than 500 dolalrs though"
"I LOVE YOU HONEY! I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU! CALLAM WE ARE GOING TO BUY OUTFITS FOR THE MOVIE!" Jade yelled "Oh yeah Toast because you are my daughter and I love you... I want you to be the actress that acts as me!"
"Mom that is incredible! Thank you!" Toast said. After this Jade left with Callam.
"Toast are you mad?!" Kaeghan yelled
"Im not!" Toast cheered back
"Are you gonna let her make that movie?!" Kaeghan snapped
"But honey you dont knwo hwo much fame I will earn after they see how I act like a bipolar, crazy and f*cked up failure from the drama world!" Kaeghan sighed and kissed her.