So A fanfic Im finishing. May get kinkeh.
Day 1 - I fucking hate first days... Actually they are ok...
I wake up to start my first day of school this year. Summer has been long and boring. The visit to Wikian's Island was ok. I got again my golden tan and I'm ready for the day. I grab my backpack and an apple and I start walking towards jail. I stop by Alice's house. Her mother doesn't approve our multiple relationships so she tries to stop her and make her walk with Kaeghan or Connor. I see how Alice jumps through a window and we run away.
We also stop by to get Erlend, Emma, Justin and Kekai, my other boyfriends and girlfriends. We are just so sexy together.
We reach the buildings that are owned by my school. Maths block here, Science block there. Primary and Music at the end... Yeah pretty normal as always. We see how Gruff and Luka are making out and just then I turn around to see Mia and Oli running towards each other in slow motion as Callam, Caylin, Ian, Cass and Dani facepalm. The girls are the cheerleaders of the school team but they call themselfs 2fab4u.
I reach my locker and put my books in it. After this I start walking towards the tutor's class. I wonder who it will be...
I walk inside the main building where Headmaster Jade is greeted me and as I entere felt how she looked my arse... I pass infront of Miss Rainie and Mr Colin. Like always they are flirting and blowing kisses. I see Mr. Wingman the PE teacher jogging down the stairs. I enter the class and wait. Alice sits next to me and Emma joins us. Kekai and Erlend sit in the row infront of us but they turn their chairs so we can talk. I feel eyes in me and I see my ex best friends glaring at me in hatred. I did pretty good dumping them after they tried to manipulate me.
The door upons and the teacher comes in. Mr. DBA the extreamly racist biology teacher.
"Hello Nigga Students. Here is the timetable for this year. Remember you have Biology with me last thing today. We will learn how English people didn't evolve from the monkeys because we are superior. Have fun niggas."
I look at my timestable. I am in most things with my friends and I look at the first thing we have, PE with Wingman. Fuck. My. Life.
We go to the changing room and I see Gruff and Luka stripping as they dance around each other. Just then I see how Callam takes his shirt... Oh my god... Those abs... He lowers his tight jeans... Those pink undies... I want him on my orgy famaly. JOAN STOP! But I wanna see his peacock! JOAN FFS! I bet ti's beutiful... Ok just a little peak... THAT ISNT A LITTLE PEAK ITS EYE RAPE. I hate you mind. Yes I hate myself too for being yours...
I walk down to the gym and see Wingman, next to a huge pile of balloons filled with elephant cum...
"Welcum to Pityfull Erection. I am Mr Wingman. You all play cumball, like dodgeball but with ,y cu,! It took me time so don't waste it!"
He names team captains Oli and Callam. I end up in Callam's team with Alice and Kekai. Emma and Erlend are in the other team. He gives three cumballs to each team and the game starts. There is a pile of cumballs at each corner of the room and everybody starts throuwing cum. Caylin throws a ball at Connor. The ball explodes all over Connor and he goes and sits on the bench. Emma, Wes and Alice are quickly eliminated. Alice has cum all over her hair and face and she looks like a milkshake.
Five minutes later and it's only me, Kekai and Callam against 10 people from the other people. A balloon is about to hit me when Kekai jumps infront of me. The balloon hits him in the chest and he fakes he is dying. "Joan... Avnge my deaths" After this Emma has to drag him to a bench. I can do this. I can do this. Shit I can do this. Three balloon are thrown at me and I look like a ducking ghost.
I shower myself to get rid of the cum. I suddenly feel two hands behind me and I see they bellong to Erlend. I see that Luka and Gruff are making out and that Ian and Oli are doing... stuff. I make Erlend lower and...
Im reaching orgasm when I suddenly see Emma and Dani watching through a window while fapping. I just do the middle finger to them and they giggle.
After that we all go down the sttair with fresh clothes to our next session. Sex Education. In the way Mia tacklehugs Oli and he pushes her away "I dump you Asian boys are fab!" And Mia leaves crying.
We entr sex ed class and suddenly we hear a click and Miss Erline appears like batman in a tight leather dress with a whip. Everybody sits akwnardly on different desks. "Welcome class! Please take your books out!"
With that everybody takes their sex ed books out "Kama Sutra for dummies" Just then Erline jumps ontop of Ryan's table "This is a vajayjay from here come babies!" And after that she ripped her skirt off and Ryan fainted.
Erline started jumping table to table. She once slipped and nearly killed Samuel and Sam. Mist was trying to find Slenderman Kama Sutra postures and by error opened Chapter "How to take it up the bum"
Erline saw this and she smiles "WE HAVE A STUDENT THAT WODERS HOW TO TAKE IT UP THE BUM! Lt me explain it my dear. At first it hates but the deeper the better! GOD BLESS ANAL SEX!"
After Sex Ed we had dinner. Lunch Lady Tyler kept insisting that we where all a family with tits on fire and we lulzed to death. Just then Callam approached our tabled and people started fangirling! "Hey Guys sooooo Im having a party at my house this Friday and you are all invited. Bye."
The day ended with DBA giving a -F in Biology for not being English. Good Im not gonna be a fucking Darwin.
I only could think of one thing.
Party at A Rich Dude's House.
PARTY AND I DON'T CARE
(If you wanna be on the mood for this chapter hear Party At Rich Dude's House By Ke$ha first or during it.)
We entered the huge house as music burst out of the speakers, alcohol rocket out and I saw Oli and Ian dancing like maniacs as Dani hitted her head against a wall as she felt humilated by one of her best friends. Cass was pole dancing as Wes cheered and grabbed her ass. Everybody was having tons of fun. Started to dance with Alice as Erlend went to the kitchen Uh Oh...
I walk into the living room to see Jade giving Callam a lapdance. Wait what does Headmaster Jade do here? I just walk into the kitchen and I loose Alice. Me and Emma take a cup each and drink. Shit I has a boner. I look at Emma she smiles and we run up the stairs.
We enter a room and fins Callam, Alice and Jade finishing a threeway. Jade and Callam but Alice stays. THREESOME! Wait just then Erlend and Kekai also enter. ORGY!
Shit that left me dizzy. Having to do something with my d while I do something with my mouth at the smae time left me really tired!
We walk down the stairs again Alice wearing one of Callam's shoes and find Mia chasing Ian with a knife. Finnaly Annie grabs a frying pan and sends Mia to sleep. Justin meets up with us and tells that he amnaged to drug Dani so she agreed to have sex with him. Wait a moment did I use a condom. O no.
Let's drug them teachers
So it's second monday of this school year. Im sitting on Liza's class as she teaches something and occasionally goes to the hallway to make out with Colin. I just then see Erlend dipping a dart into a bottle. Liza just came back inside. Erlend got a blowgun and shooted the dart.
Just then Liza started twerking and doing the Harlem Shake. Twerk it baby, twerk.
After 40 minutes of twerking and stripping Liza we go to Cooking class. Shit why I choose this? Oh yeah momma forced me. But seriously, when im married my husband will cook for me and feed me while we have se... nevermind.
I enter the kitchen to see Lunch Lady Tyler with a grin. "HELLO PEOPLE! YOU COOKING WEED BROWNIES AND CUMCAKE TODAY! HAVE FUN!"
Long class, long day.
I find myself cutting weed as Berry boils 100% Elephant cum. Somebody please kill me...
Anyways after that.... I exit the the school and I just see a huge Adverticement infront of me. KESHA WORLD TOUR, HERE TOMORROW.
OMG OMG OMG YES
I jump up and down and start hugging Emma. SHE IS COMING OMG YES. This is gonna be a great day yes it will. Im forcing dem bitches to come and they will wear glitter! I have the urge to frisk my nipples to kiss somebody! Even Q... Never mind. I feel like a fucking star in the sky about to explode and shiz.
Le Epic Ke$ha Tour
"SAM YOU BITCH YOU CAN'T HIDE IN THE BATHROOM FOREVER!" I yell as kick the door.
"But I don't want to loose my ears! Kesha sucks!" Sam replies. Bastard!
"ALICE BRING THE FUCKING AXE THIS BASTARD IS GETTING COVERED IN GLITTER!" I scream and Alice already in the Kesha outfit I forced her to wear comes up with an axe she got from idk where.
"Joan what are you going to do with that axe?!" Alice asks
"STICK IT UP SAM'S ASS IF HE DOESNT COME OUT! 3! 2! 1! YOU ARE DEAD!" and I slam the axe against the door.
When I make a big enough hole I get in. Sam is trying to squeeze out through the tiny window and I grab him. He tries to kick me but I drop the hot glue over his eye. He screams and I drop a kilo of glitter over his face. He looks fab now.
After that I go down the stairs and find Oli, Ian, Callam, Dani, Erlend and Kekai asleep in the sofa. Perfect. The sleeping pills in the tea worked. I start making them look fab as Alice helps me with Luka and Gruff who are tied to some chairs since they didn't accept the tea.
When I finish they start waking up. Oli apparently knows what is going to happen and he tries to run to the door. I grab a shotgun from the wall and aim it at him "You are coming with me bby"
Oli runs to Ian and they start hugging like scared puppies. KESHA IS NOT SCARY! FFS!
I aim the shotgun at them as I make them get inside a bus I hired to take all of us to the concert. Dani tries to sneak away but I aim the gun at her and she enters the bus. This is going to be great! As the bus starts moving I get up and aim the shotgun at everybody "OK GUYS! LET'S SING KESHA SONGS!"
We start singing and I see Anna trying to open a window. I grab her hands and I tie the together with a glitter chain. "Ok again! WE ARE WE ARE WE ARE THE CRAZY KIDS!"
We arrive and I force everybody to walk down the bus. Wes' eyes widden when he sees a hot dude waiting to get inside the concert and he starts bouncing "Cass if I get his d I dump you!" and with that he runs away and tacklehugs the poor boy.
As the concert starts we see Kesha walk up the stage and I have 5 fucking orgasms one after the other. I cummed. Kesha starts singing but seeding all the lights go out. Mother fucking Miley Cyrus and her army of twerking bears run into the stage.
Miley starts singing We Can't Stop as she twerks. I suddenly notice a bear being ripped open from the inside and Mia emerges from the rain of cotton with a knife and a wicked smile. "DIE YOU MAN-STEALING WHORE!" She screams as she jumps into the crowd. She grabs Ian and tries to stab Ian."
Kesha is pretty pissed at the corner of the stage as Nicki Minaj gets on and starts singing bad rap about a Dungeon Dragon. Kesha starts shaking and she screams and all the fireworks fly up and explode. Kesha looks to the backstage to see Katy Perry about to enter the stage and she shoats "DONT YOU DARE BITCH!"
Kesha then grabs a set of beer bottles and walks to Miley Cyrus and smashed one into her head. She stabs Nicki Minaj in one boob and all the shizthat filled it flows out. She then throuws one at Ian who smashes it into Mia's head. Katy Perry screams and runs away as Kesha walked to her with a vicious smile.
"Lady Gaga don't you dare to also spoil my concert!" She screams as a swam lands on stage.
Those whores are making my princess mad! After an hour of Kesha beating up Miley Cyrus as she twerked unconsious she finally starts singing. After she finishes I manage to get inside the backstage and I walk inside her room. All the smoke from her bong gets inside me and I can't remember anything from that moment.
Let's do Chemestry! Booooooooring
Just as I finsih Physics with my fab arsed teacher I walk up to Chemestrym where Miss Annie waited us. She divided all of the class into pairs and gave each pair some water mixed with salt and sand. "Let's keep it simple you jsut need to filter the sand out and after evaporate the water to crystalize the salt."
What the hell did that gurl say? Anyways I walk to Emma and we start working on our dirty water. I see Dani and KEAP with the flask. They grab a filter and pour all the water and sand into it. The filter breaks and they v dirty. KEAP starts liking the sand out of Dani's body. Her face... Her neck... Her... omg kinky...
I turn to see Caylin with some poor kid. She is yelling at him as she whips him since He is doing it wrong. At the end Caylin grabs the water and pours it all over the kid.
I suddenly see Erlend moving to us with his already clean water. Wait that water is very... omg it's lube! Emma giggles as Erlend drags her towards the hazardous acids closet. Hot Melting Sex...
Just then Kesha storms inside the class with a huge Preggo tummy "JOAN YAH MOTHAFECKA YOU MADE ME GO PREGGERS!"
"O no" I say as I run towards the window and jump out trying to escape.
"JOAN YOU ARE GOING TO MARRY ME AND GROW A BEARD!"
I land ontop of a car... How did I survive that?! O no. It's Kesha's Gold Trams Ans. Kesha jumps out the window and the gurl lands on the floor like a ninja. She starts chasing me and then two men in golden police suits arrive. GLITTER POLICE FROM KESHA LANDITA!
Just then a random Giant Miley Cyrus appeared and ripped the school with me, Kesha and all the others in it. She shook the building so harshly I went unconsious.
When i woke up I had a metal neclace around my neck.
The Finale: BATTLE ROAYLE!
|Pair Number||Name||Random Weapon||Name||Random Weapon|
|12||Jade||Knife Watermelon||Callam||Fishing Net|
|16||Lauren||One Shuriken||Miscy||Pineapple Dildo|
I look around and see that I am on Annie's lab. Just there standed Miley Cyrus in a evil dominatrix suit. "Hey this is Battle Royale. You are going to fight in this island. You have been mixed in 16 pairs. When your pair dies you also die like this!"
And with that Miley grabs a UZI and shoots Charlie in the head. Everybody screams and Chalie's body lays on the ground bleeding.
"Oh yeah Kaeghan is Ryan's partner"
Kaeghan starts looking around as his necalce starts beeping "No! This is unfair! Please! Help!"
Just then Kaeghan's neck exploded and everybody screamed. Luka and Tyler got covered in blood. And they both screamed.
"So all of you have three days to kill each other or you all die. HAVE FUN!"
Charlie and Kaeghan Pair number 13
After this she starts calling one name after the other and gives us each a weapon and a backpack with food and water for three days. Its my turn and after Kesha's. YAY WE ARE TOGETHER!
After this we run out of the school building into the forest. Shots are heard.
I run out of the building dragging Callam. I spot Oli shooting Colin with a UZI a few steps forwards and I drag Callam behind a tree. We see how Oli and Ian leave. Berry just then pops from behind a tree shoatin Colin. Her collar starts to beap and she panics. 3, 2, 1. BOOM! He throat explodes and she falls dead to the floor.
I just then see KEAP running down a path that is just to my left. He has a revolver and I take the risk. I point at Callam's net and he nods. Just when he pases next to us Callam throws the net. It traps KEAP and I grab my Watermelon shaped knife and stab KEAP in the chest. I take his revolver and we hear a beep in the distance followed by some screams.
Colin and Berry Pair number 9
KEAP and Sky Pair number 11
Holy shiz... Im witnessing how my students are killing each other. Me and Callam run to a wheat field behind the school. Mud and golden wear sticking into our clothes. We reach a farmer's house and we enter it and start grabbing as much as we can from inside it.
I run with Emma down the streets of the town. We suddenly spot Joan and Kesha running inside a shopping mall. We follow them and we shoat their names. We look at each other Emma pointing her gun at Kesha's gut. "Alliance."
They both nod.
Just then we hear a noise and we twist around to spot Tyler and Jay trying to sneak towards the stairs. Emma fires three bullets. One hits Jay's shoulder, the other misses and the other one goes through Tyler's neck. Jay is screaming in pain and doesnt even notice his collar beeping. Beep. Beep. Beep. BOOM!
Tyler and Jay Pair number 14
We start grabbing stuff from the shelfs and run out the fire escape and go towards the 'rich' houses near the beach.
Me and Miscy run towards the the mountain as we hold our weapons. I hold my shuriken and she holds what I hope that is a spiked bat. Just then we spot Mia and Caylin. Mia has a shot gun and attempts to shoot us so we run away towards a church in middle of the forest.
We climb up some stairs that take us to the bell tower and we wait. We see the two girls reach the church's entrance and we breath hard. Maybe Miscy can hit one of them with the pineapple dildo... bat... I dont know what it is! We wait for several minutes and we see them exit the church. We smile to each other and stay on the tower.
Urgh stupid Kiki she is being slow! We run through the harbour towards a small hut where we could hide. Just then Wes and Cass appear from nowhere. They have a pineapple and a boomerang! Ha! That's fucking lame! I start laughing my ass and Kiki joins me with a granade ready to blow them.
"What are you going to do huh?" I say half-crying "That boomerang shit never works!"
Cass smiles and throws the boomerang that misses my face and goes into the the mist. Tears fall down my cheeks as I laugh so hard. Just then I feel pain in the back of my neck and Wes slams the pineapple into Kiki's face. I hear a BOOM and all goes dark.
Kiki and Dani Pair number 1
That was plain lame! I laugh so hard as I retrieve the granades from Kiki's cold hands and Wes searches Dani's body for her weapon. "Did you find anything?"
"Nope, just a tissue box."
"Cry me a river?"
After this we start laughing harder.
Just then we hear a voice. "Hello! So this are the following that died; Kiki and Dani Pair number 1, Berry and Colin Pair number 9, KEAP and Sky Pair number 11, Charlie and Kaeghan Pair number 13, Tyler and Jay Pair number 14. The following sectors will become explosive in five minutes, 3C, 7G, 4C. Thats all!"
I check my map and see that we are in a safe area. We set camp in the hut and wait there.
We run as Anna and Erlend chase us. They appeared from nowhere and Im about to collapse of panic. We enter a small house in middle of the forest. Just I hear a noise. Crap Anna has a bazooka. The wall breaks and the ceiling starts collapses.
Luka and Gruff pair number 10
Me and Ian go to sleep as that Miley bish says the deaths and some sectors. We hug together as we turn into the darkness. We have planned to ally with Mia (even though she tried to kill us multiple times) and Caylin. Tomorrow we will try to find them.
Just as I wake up I see something. Justin and Kekai. Justin grabs Ian and puts him in a headlock. He uses the tazer to wake him up and he screams. I look around for my UZI or Ian's axe but they are gone. Kekai punches me in the face making me back up against a tree.
Justin starts giving Ian shocks. Each time they last longer. Ian screams and I start sobbing.
At some point Ian's heart stops and my collar starts to beep.
I just wanted to be with him...
Oli and Ian pair number 2
I walk following Liza reach just then we spot Anna and Erlend looking through a shop for supplies. We decide to sneak to the door and Anna exits the shop ti try and see what is happening when Liza makes some noise bt stepping on a broken glass.
I take my chance. I tackle Anna andstart punching her with the ball. She bleeds from the mouth and I make a hole with one of the spikes through her cheek. I smash it into her skull and Erlend runs out of the shop with his collar beeping.
He swings his bat hitting Liza in the head just before his collar detonates. Oh shit did he kill her?! I touch her neck and feel her breath. Phew...
I drag her inside the shop and look for some bandages.
Anna and Erlend pair number 8
Just as Joan goes to sleep I have an idea. I grab the bottle of acid and sneak next to him. I can't believe Im going to do this... I start sobbing as I pull the lid off and press the bottle against his lips. Only two can survive... I sigh and I tilt the bottle making him swallow the acid. I hear the beeping of Kesha's collar as she runs to me yelling and screaming. Just before she attacks me it explodes sending her to the ground.
Joan and Kesha pair number 5