Alright, just as many users have come and gone, I believe it is my time to go as well. Overall this has been a decent experience, and I'm glad to have meet some of you. My writing has improved greatly while on this wiki, but lately I've had a apathy regarding this wiki, and when I do have emotions for it, they are generally negative sadly to say. I don't want to be a negative-Nancy... But this wiki really has changed since I've first arrived here.
What was first a source of positivity and a great escape from my overall crappy life has gone downhill into a principle reason for my ongoing depression.
When I first arrived on this wiki, I made a few good friends, Anna, Jason, Kekai, etc. Coming on chat, or getting the chance to update my games became the highlight of my day, and I would often spend my free-time in school planning my games or leaving a comment or two on someone else’s. The end of my Freshman year was a tough one, but the wiki really helped me through it, and for that I thank all of you.
The problems started brewing during the Summer. New (Or old users that were returning) started coming on, and were a bad source of negativity. One in particular made me hate myself so much I started self-harm for a brief period of time. In the background of all of this, a group of users was becoming closely-knit, while rejecting and insulting a majority of the other users. The wiki over the Summer was really only a source of drama and confusion, and I started wanting to come on less and less, sticking to just writing my games more often than not. Things picked up a little after school started, and my friendships with certain users were still strong, prompting me to stay rather than leave. I can say, without a doubt, that without a small group of certain users, Anna, Kekai and Claudia and particular, I would’ve jumped ship ages ago.
But as Summer turned to Fall things went from good to bad once again, the clique of users mentioned before getting worse and worse as time progressed. Things came to a head, I made my mistakes in the process, and things smoothed out once again. All the while my social-life was improving, I started enjoying life more, making new friends nearly everyday, and getting invited to parties and such. I still managed to find time for the wiki however, until I auditioned for the play and got in. Suddenly there was no time to update my games, and some days no time to even pop in on chat. On top of that, less and less people in chat bothered to talk to me, and Anna and Kekai had things going on as well, making it nearly impossible for me to see them anymore. Therefore, slowly but steadily, my interest to come on chat or even write a Hunger Games dropped. After the play is over, I would think to myself, then I will want to come on again.
But alas, the play is over... And I still have no motivation to join, and when I do, only to PM one or two users.
In conclusion, a combination of a drama-filled atmosphere, a lack of interest and friends in the wiki has made me come up with the conclusion that I must leave, or at least take a long break. Even if I do come back, which I wouldn’t bet on, I will probably be less than half as active as I once was. You might see me on chat every once in a while, but that will only be if Anna has contacted me regarding something to do with THGRP wiki. The only thing I’m sticking around for at this point is to read Anna’s games, and that will be the only blog that I will leave comments on anymore (I might even feel tempted to enter her new ones, there are that well written).
Bellow I will not only leave my final messages to certain users, but also words of advice. These will not be offensive, and I am only leaving them to help prevent anyone else from feeling the way I do about the wiki’s overall atmosphere.
Anna- I really couldn’t describe how great full I am for your friendship... I honestly don’t know what to put here. You are without a doubt, the nicest, most genuine person on this wiki. Don’t change. Don’t ever feel bad about yourself, you’re perfect :3 You are one of the two people I hope to keep in contact with after I leave, and for good reason. I always loved our PMs, the debates, discussing your writing, my writing, giving great help on tribute names and the fish slapping fights xD Your writting is the best on the wiki in my opinion.
Claudia- You, without a doubt, are the lone reason I didn’t leave back in early January... 95% of the time I go on chat and only talk to you. You are one of the few people I can really relate to, and probably one of the funniest :3 I don’t need to say much here because we already kik pretty much everyday lol
Kekai- I just wanna say I always looked up to you because you were never afraid to be yourself >.< You were always nice, and were never ashamed to say what you were interested in, be in Frozen or various demons xD
Crtha- You are a very kind, sweet, nice and funny person. Don’t ever let the world get you down. You’re great, end of story. You deserve the best <3 With that said, I think you should try to be a little more positive, look on the bright side :3
Connor- *Already said in PM*
Wes- I enjoyed talking to you... Most of them time. You can be a little harsh sometimes and it gets to be a little off putting. I do like how you are passionate about a lot of things, and very enthusiastic :3 You have a great taste in TV shows lol (TWD, AHS, Survivor, etc) BETH 4EVER BTW
Emma- You’re hilarious Emma xD I wish you would’ve talked to me more, because I always thought you were funny without being mean. Like many people on this wiki say jokes at other people’s expense, but you always kept your jokes courteous of other people imo.
Zach- I really did like you at first, but then you became a big source of drama for me >.< My advice for you is to be more honest to people, because when you are, they will be more understanding than if they learn what you really think from somebody else ._.
Summer- You’re perfect, ‘nough said. :3 I ship you and Jayeh so hard tbh xD
Erlend- Funny af!!! You’re one of the better sources of optimism on the wiki imo. You’re tumblr lights up my morning tbh.
Justin- Stop following the crowd! You were great when you first came on the wiki, and I genuinely liked you. But as time progressed you kind of just started copying ‘what was cool’ and you were a little obnoxious to me. I mean accusing me of being a pedo was funny at first but then spamming my kik for a full hour begging for selfies was a little much, and creepy... Revert to the way you once were Justin, because the original you is much nicer :3
Liza- You’re funny, nice for the most part, and kind and generous to most people. But as of late, I feel like all you do is patronize me, and so I stopped talking to you. ._.
Roma- It isn’t the middle ages nor is it Napoleonic times, get with the 21st centaury. All you do is annoy people and I’ve heard about how you were creeping on Claudia. Not cool, not cool.
Toastie- I didn’t talk to you all that much, but you still left an impact on me by always being so damn positive and happy x3
Joan- Tone down the sexual stuff, it’s unnerving at this point o.o
A Dedication to My Favorite Avis
That’s all... If I did happen to offend anyone, just know I meant no harm and was simply trying to help. >.<
Let it be known that I'd be the first to admit I've said some really mean things, and some of my biggest regrets were made on this wiki. My apologizes go to: Kiki, Dani, Caylin and DBD.
Goodbye to all, I hope you all live long happy lives.
HawkWD (Dustin, Dustino, Dusty, etc)
Final Message (Quotes) To Everyone
"Don't cry. Crying won't get you anywhere!" - Bella Zarka
"Keep on, keep on and still keep on!" - Sara Zarka
"May the odds be ever in your favor," - Effie Trinket
"One must go on bravely, courageously, even if the heart is breaking." - Sala Garncarz