Title: Realization (Peeta’s POV)
Ok, so this is an old post. I’m kind of bored and wanted to write but I didn’t know what about so I just rewritten this one but on Peeta’s POV this time. And for me, I write better using his perspective. Enjoy.=))
Written by: Jessa Sta. Ana
This Tour sucks. I muttered to myself as I step out of the shower. Ever since I came out of the arena everything seems out of place then. Instead of rejoicing because I was alive after all, I feel like I don’t deserved being here now. I was played. Played by… oh, never mind.
Since lunch just passed, I decided to take a shower and do some things with sense, like painting. As I step out of my room a voice spoke.
“Hey,” ugh. Here we go again.
“Hi,” I replied trying hard to ignore my pounding heart.
“Um, Peeta… can we talk?” Katniss ask hesitantly.
“Isn’t that what we are doing just now?” I said and began to turn away. It’s better to avoid her than say something you don’t want to. I reminded myself. Next thing, Girl-on-fire’s already shouting.
“Can you stop it? Won’t you listen to me? Are you really going to just ignore me the whole time? Peeta, this is unbearable, okay? Talk to me!” She’s on burning fire, I thought. “Please,” she added after considering a moment.
I took a deep breath to steady myself, put my hands on my jean’s pockets and faced her.
“Alright, what do you want Katniss?” I felt that she’s controlling her emotions too. Katniss took deep breath too, looked at me straight in the eyes then began to spoke.
“Peeta, I know I hurt you. And it burdened me to see you like this.”
“It’s okay. I’ll live through.” Where are we going with this?
“No it’s not! Please, Peeta. You know that what I did during the Games was for our safety’s sake.” Does she really have to shout? That did it. This lady surely needs to control her temper. She’s dragging mine too!
“Oh. I know that already. That’s what Haymitch says whenever he opened his mouth. So what do you want me to do now, Katniss? Pretend that I wasn’t hurt? That everything’s okay between us? Katniss, I was in love with you. And to know that what you showed me in the arena were all pretenses broke something in me. But do you know what hurts so much?”
“Peeta,” I ignored the tears forming around her eyes. She wants talk? Oh, I’ll give her talk.
“No, Katniss. What hurts me so much is that, even how much pain I’m going through right now, I can’t stay mad at you. I’m sorry, I just can’t do this,” this is why I don’t want to face her like this. I don’t know what to say especially when she’s provoking my temper with her own angst. I turned around and left.
“Idiot,” I told myself once I’d entered the compartment where I paint. Why can’t she just let it go? Why can’t she just continue her games without all these… these confrontations and shoutings and arguings? And why on earth, despite all of it, I’m still angrier with myself? Why… can’t I just tell her that I still love her?