Welcome c:

So Erlend wrote the intro to le story...Justin has have updated since than and Liza has been helping me update the rest ' this is fanfic..... so yea its Lovelace Kingdom vs Haidere Kingdom

We gonna swear a lot so don´t bitch or you get a road sign up your butt k~ Erlend

ohh...if idk how many chapter there will be so there will be chapter notes

Haidere Kingdom

King: Oli

Queen: Mia

Prince: Callam

Princess(es): Dani, Emma, Caylin,Anna

Knight: Ian

Maid: Alice

Butler: Ryan

Royal Chef:Lily


Lovelace Kingdom

King: Colin

Queen: Liza

Prince(s): Kekai,Keap,Gruff

Princess(es): Kiki,Cinder,Cass

Knight: Joan



Royal Chef:Annie


Random Mofos

Updated Version of K-9: Andrew (Sky)

Doctor #14: Justin

Doctor's Companion: Crtha


Evil Socecer: Wesley

Sorcerer Dragon: Darcy

Winter Troll: Connor

Witch: Jade

Theif: Rowan

Evil Pixie: Berry

Bounty-Hunter: Sam

Master Assassin: Marlene

Disturbing Ghost: Kaeghan

Hidden Lovers

Callice Callam and Alice

Dap Dani and Keap

Callam and......

Kiki and.....

Marlene and.....

Justin and.....

more to come .....

Chapter Notes c:


-Feud between the Kingdoms are told

-Callam and Alice have kinky time

-Callam trust his sister Dani the most

-Liza and Colin have a plan

-Liza is a mean Queen, like, a very mean queen

-Jade makes a potion with elephant cum and we dont know what its for or what it does c;


-Wes steals the Hadiere Princesses

-Dani seems to like Keap the Lovelace Prince...

-Mia wears her new red dress *cough* she killed someone the day before c;

-Callam seems to be concerned for his sisters

-Kiki and Cass watched a witch burning and claimed there hotter than the Haidere Princess


-Mia and Oli receieve a scroll from Wes stating he has their daughters

-Mia says she only has one option and is get help from them

-Liza gets some wierd vile from a hooded figure

-Liza gives it to her guards and then screams at the very end for an odd reason

Chapter 1: Once upon a Tiem

Once upon a tiem, in a land far, far away known as Rutlan, where dildoes flew across the sky and everyone had myserious and fucked-up god powers, there lived a King and a Queen in a huge-ass pimpin´ Castle. King Oli and Queen Mia Haidere were hyper, ass-cracking monarchs who always gave their peasants and servants the proper "treatment" and who had sex everynight at 2 AM. It was double rainbow all the way and peace, but trouble stirred in Rutlan.

On the other side of the land, in the dark wasteland that was called "The Potatolands" there was another King and Queen. King Colin and Queen Liza Lovelace, who were the biggest Potato monarchs in the world and Oli and Mia´s arch nemesies. They ruled in another big-ass pimpin´ Castle, but they also had a Potato army and Mia and Oli were afraid they would suddenly attack and take over their part of Rutlan. The two Kingdoms´ relationships were more poisonous than ever, and this is when our story begins.

With Alice the Maid and Callam the Prince in the sex dungeon in their castle

"Mhm yeah Callam, touch me on the mermaid tail!" Alice moaned, as Callam stroaked her large scaly blue tail.

"Wonder what Oli and Mia would say if they knew I was banging you?" Callam smirked as he imagined their shocked faces and them quickly finding the appropriate spiked dildoes to beat them with.

Princes weren´t supposed to be banging Maids, so their relationship was very secret. Only Callam´s sister Dani knew about them, but she kept her mouth shut as she approved. She also had the common sense not to say anything to their other siblings, Princesses Emma Caylin and Anna.

Meanwhile in the Lovelace Castle

In the Royal Suite Liza Colin and Liza were dicussing a plan and which prince was to marry a Haidere to settle the fued between the two kingdoms....when Jay knock on the door

Liza said "Who is it"

"Its Jay" -Jay Responed

Jay came in what fresh fish fingers and custard sauce made be famous Cheif Annie. Colin and Liza hired one afternoon when they she made filet mignon covered in Cranberry Sauce for them. Annie also is Famous for her Piglet Stew. Anyways... Jay put the food on a small elgant table in the edge of the room and walked towrds the door.

Before Leaving Jay said "enjoy"

Colin and Liza ran towards the table after Jay left. Liza dipped her Fish Fingers in the sauce and bit the food. On the other hand Colin was eating his food fast because he had a something to do soon. After they finshed Colin got dress for his meeting and gave Liza a romantic kiss.

Before Collin left Liza said "Can u call the Lady when u see her"

"Ok babe" - Colin said walking down the stairs

Colin sees Lady on the first floor and tells her to go to the Royal Suite in 10 minutes. Lady says she will be up after she finshes clean up the Catapult on the fifth floor.In her room Liza has a idea and goes to her small table in the corner edge of her bed and starts writing a letter in her brand new feather pen to someone. All of sudden lady kicks the door open with her cleaning supplies in a wagon .Lady scaring Liza made her put a huge ink line on her letter.

"Can u fucking knock next time" -Liza said angerly

"Im so sorry Queen" -Lady said queitly

"You better be... now clean up the mess now you peasent!!!" -Liza said with rage

Somewhere in a Evil Socecer Cave At Night

"Wes hurry up with the Elephant Cum" -Jade screamed will making her newest potion

"Its cumming you just have to wait hag and wtf do u even need it anyways hag -Wes said while smerking

"Its a secret you'll see when its ready babe" -Jade

Jade finally adds the elephant cum to her potion which contains some Drangon Scales,rat,kool-aid looking blood, posion,a splash of Dap Yougurt and a pinch of Jade magic.

Wes was angry at Jade and stormed outside jumped on the dragon and started flying away

Chapter 2: Where'es my Princesses the hoes at c;

On the otherscarts of Rulan In the midnight sky

Wes the Sorceror was riding Darcy the Dragon towards Haidere Castle. He put a spell on his dragon to make it invisible called Ho-Rathcet-Hoe-Zoo. He slowly went towards the huge castle and opened all the windows with his wands. He sent his Magic Eye to see who was in the rooms. One room had Mia and Oli in a weird sex position, another had Callam getting his abs licked be Alice, Dani was cuddling with her pillow wishing it was Keap, Caylin was rolling all of her bed,Anna boobs were sticking out of her nightgown, Emma was changing and naked. So Wes sent a spell to Emma to make her fall asleep and used a spell to move all three princess out of there room and put them on the dragon and flew away. When the dragon was far from the Haidere Castle Wes deactivated his spell. Wes finallly arrives to his Evil Castle far away from both kindoms and locked all four princess in towers scarted around the Castle.

Caylin woke up and said "fuck" am locked up in a tower

Dani woke and said "Keap better fucking save me"

Anna woke up and said "Where the heck is my fuck is my bed"

Emma woke up and said "why am i naked did i drink to much last night?"Haidere Castle in in the Morning

Mia woke up first and decided to wash up from the night before and grab a silk robe and went towards the bathroom across the hall.  Oli in the other hand decieded to to a sleep naked for 20 more minutes. Callam got up and relized Alice was missing from his room he grab a dress shirt and some skinny jeans (pshh yea theirs skinny jeans in this time period)  and stormed down stairs to find her cleaning the table for breakfest.

"Wtf didnt we go all the way last night" - Callam smilled

"I didnt want the your parents to hear" - Alice said noding

"Fine what did Lily make for dinner?" - Callam said with a hunger face

"Idk it should be ready soon" - Alice smiling

Ryan and Lily brought out all the food and set it up on the table. On one side of the table was pancakes and the other rich bread.In the middle of the table were the finist jams in the kingdom and some random fruit. Ryan rang a bell to signal in was time to eat. Callam sit in his chair next to to the main chair and grabed some bread and some jam. Mia in her new red dress come next to eat and grab a red apple and bit right in to it. A few minutes after Oli finally come down with clothes on and grabed some pancakes and added some bee cum syrup.

After awhile...

Oil said "Where are my fucking daughters"

Mia responded "There doing there makeup or some shit on there face I think"

Callam said "Alice can you get them you bitch"

"Sure Callam whatever you say -Alice said grinning

Mia,Oli,and Callam continued to eat while Alice went upstairs. She knock on Anna door and waited for her to respond but heard nothing and slowly opened the door. She called for Anna but couldn't find her so she went into Emma,Caylin,Dani room and couldn't find them ether. Alice ran downstairs and tripped on the last step and fall on her face.

"You ok Alice" -Callam asked

"Yea but the Princesses aren't in their room" -Alice

"Where the fuck are my sisters" -Callam screamed

"Idk" said Alice

"You don't know anything you hoe" -Callam yelled

Meanwhile in the Lovelace Garden where the princess were talking

"Did you see the witch (not Jade) burning early" ~Cass

"Nahh I was getting bored so I left" Kiki replied.

"Oh, well it was truly something to watch, Kiki. She screamed as her body burst into flames. Quite funny."


As the two princesses continued their short yet brief conversation on the witch burning, Kekai and KEAP walked into the garden. A solumn look on their faces. They spotted their sisters and walked over.

Cass looked up at Kekai and KEAP. "What are you doing here? Can't you see we are talking about burning witches?"

"Yes, but it is important," Kea said

"More important than burning witches?" Cass said in a snarky way.

"By a mile," Kekai replied.

Kiki looked her brothers up and down. "Then spill your guts, will you? We don't have all day!" she shouted.

"The Haidere princess have been captured from their kingdom," the two brother said simultanously.

"WHAT?!" the sisters shouted.

"But... We are hot, like, smoking hot. Why weren't we stolen?" Cass said, clearly upset.

Kiki pouted but rage flickered in her eyes. "Like, whoever stole them has no abilty to see apparently! I mean, like. Bitch, I'm hot too, why didn't I get stolen? Like, seriously."

Kekai and Keaprolled their eyes as the sisters continued on for the next hour about how hot and beautiful and sexy they were and how they should of been stolen rather than the Haidere princesses.

Chapter 3: Let the Journey Begin ummm.......what Journey....

In the Haidere castle where everyone is freaking over the lost of the princesses...

Mia and Oli were talking quietly to each other when a knock on the door stole their attention.

"Who is it?!" Oli shouted. The door creaked open and Ryan walked in, holding a scroll in his hands.

"This came for you, ma'am and sir," he says. He walks over and hands them the scroll. He then quickly left the room, closing the door behind him.

Mia held the scroll in her hand before she unscrolled it and read alloud:

"Dear King and Queen of Haidere Castle,

We have your hot daughters c: Dey be very hots. Oh, Anna has big boobs, you should really give her a bigger dress so they actually fit in her dress.


"Well damn," Mia mutters.

"Mia, I think we only have one option... We have to find them and get help from... them."

The words hung around the room for a few minutes. Silence was all was in the room until Mia spoke up.

"I'll send them a letter. You get people ready to go on an adventure." With that, the queen of Haidere stood up and left Oli in the room to work on a letter.


"Aghhh am so freaking hungry" ....."WES!!!!"........"Bitch Hello?????"-Caylin

"What the heck do u want slob"-Wes

"Bitch dont call me a slob I have higer standerds than you"~Caylin

"I will call you whatever I want because your a prisoner with your other hot sisters"~Wes

Wes ended up giving Caylin some Dragon Scale Koolaid and some leg off a chicken that he killed the other day.... Wes finally got something for Emma to wear to cover her hot bod....Dani angrily was all like "am still waiting Keap"...

TBC Justin and Liza


Liza sits at the long table in the lunch room. Colin sits next to her along with Kekai, KEAP, Gruff, Kiki, Cindy and Cass. They all eat silently.

Suddenly, a knock comes to the door and echoes around the Castle. Liza stands up and looks at her family. "I shall be back, you all remain here," she replies. She walks away from them and leaves the room. She walks down many long hallways until she ends up in the main room. She opens the front door to her castle and a hooded figure walked into the room.

"Hello, Queen Liza," says a very feminie voice.

"Hello," replies Liza. The hooded figure grabs a vile containing a very cloudy gray liquid and hands it to the queen.

"Use that only in great need," says the hooded figure. The figure quickly leaves the castle, leaving Liza standing alone in the dim room. The Queen quickly leaves the room and heads into her sleeping quarters. She puts the vile away in a small chest filled with a bunch of little random objects. Suddenly, a knock on her door distracts her.

"Come in," she replies. Jay, the butler, walks in. He has a scroll in his hand.

"For you, ma'lady," he says. Liza nods as he puts the scroll down next to her on her dresser. He walks out of the room and Liza looks at the letter.

Dear Queen of Lovelace,

It has come to the entire kingdom's attention that our daughters have disappeared. We would like to ask of your assistance for help. Then we can go back to hating each other as usual if that is your so-called desire. But we do need your help so do try and help.

-Queen of Haidere

Liza paused for a moment, rereading the letter. "Well, sounds like a good situtation," she replies. She grabs the vile and walks to where the guards usually stay. She gives them all some of the vile and quickly walks away, back to her room, to start a letter.

She puts a finishing touch on her letter and heads off to check on her guards.

A scream then escapes her throat.

TBC- Justin and Liza

(For.....Liza i think the "adventure" will start in Chap 4 m'kay....and when the Evil Pixie comes...i want her to say "Hey Bitchlets listen up"...i will try to update soon 'kay)

Chapter 4 Adventure Time c; I mean what? Huh?

In the Coart Yard in Hadiere Castle

Mia stood at attention of her people. Word had traveled that the Haidere Princesses had been captured and that the queen might have been willing to team with their worst allies to win them over. They hated the idea almost as much as their princesses never being returned.

“Attention, attention!” the queen said. All eyes then focused on Queen Mia, standing in a sapphire blue dress in front of the entire kingdom. “As many of you know, our princesses have been captured by the Evil Wes and Jade.”

Conversation quickly spread and Mia quickly got annoyed. “Silence!” she shouted. All conversation ceased at that moment and she continued. “And, to the disappointment of many, we have addressed Queen Liza of Lovelace to join us in returning our princesses.”

That sparked anger among many of the villagers. They all started to shout disapproval at the queen for making such an outrageous decision. Suddenly, a shout came from a young man in the back. “QUIET SO OUR QUEEN CAN TALK!”

“Thank you,” Mia says as the voices quickly lower. “Now, although many of you are against this idea, doing this merge can solve the differences between our two kingdoms. Ultimately, we could create a negotiation and furthermore create peace for our land.”

A few quick murmurs are heard that quickly die down. All eyes are trained on Mia, waiting to hear what she can furthermore say.

“So, if you wish to aid in finding the princesses, you can see… Callam or Oli or whoever the fudge you need to talk to and join the militia to fight. For the princesses!” Mia says, raising an arm.

Silence echoes around. In the far far distance, you can hear a goat. Suddenly, the people realize they can talk and cheer with her. The goat gets angry and returns to the castle of Jade. It transforms into a person with long blue hair. Wings sprout from her back as she walks into the dark forest to warn everyone about the oncoming battle.

Meanwhile ata Lovelace castle in Liza's bedroom...

Liza sits on the edge of her bed, crying. Desperation had settled over the Lovelace kingdom with the news of the death of their beloved guards. No one knew that they had been poisoned, let alone that their very own queen was responsible.

Colin walks into the room, followed by a Mariachi Band. He hopes to cheer her up but instead, an expression deep of great anger settles across the queens face.

“Why the HELL did you get a Mariachi Band, Colin?” she asks, temper running short.

“I thought it would cheer you up. TAKE FIVE! CINQO MINUTOS!” he shouts to the band. They walk out and Liza facepalms.

“THAT’S NOT EVEN SPANISH!” she shouts, deeply annoyed now.

“Whatever,” he says. He sits down next to her and puts an arm around her shoulder. “Are we going to help Haidere or not, Liza? I need to know to call in for the backup forces.”

“Backup? As if, they’ve all been killed,” she murmurs, burying her face in her hands.

“And how would you know that, huh?” he asks, pulling her closer. “I know you’re all-knowing and all, but how do you know this?”

She thought of telling him the truth. That it was her fault. Instead, she shook her head. “I tried to check for backups, even sent Justin and the TARDIS to look. Nothing.”

“That boy… 1950 years old and he can’t find one single backup,” he mutters. He shakes his head and kisses the top of Liza’s head. “We’ll help them any way. Just us. We can do it, ya know.”

She nods. “Yes, yes yes, of course. I’ll write them a letter.” Colin stands up and leaves Liza sitting on the bed. She wiped away the tears gathering in her eyes and walked over to her desk. She quickly writes a letter and walks out of her room to deliver the message.

In the Dark and Looming Forest...

The pixie sat on a branch high up, the other villians gathered around. She looked around, her black eyes shimmering.

"They are coming. Lovelace and Haidere have put aside their differences and are going to Wes' castle," she reports. Several of the vilians grunt.

The thief, who was holding the crown of Liza Lovelace, looked up. "Oi, why should we listen to you, pixie?" she says, shoving it into her bag.

"Well, because I am smarter than you, Rowan." She jumps from her branch and walks a few inches above the ground until taking an imaginary step down to the ground in front of her. She reaches into the bag and grabs Liza Lovelace's crown. "Because when Liza finds you, she'll want this back along with your head. You think she's no threat? She killed her own guards."

The pixie turned around and looked at everyone else. "Any other questions?" she asks, smiling to show her sharp teeth.

The disturbing ghost floated over to the pixie. "Let's get started," he says. He then moans like ghosts usually do. He floats into the air before evaporating in thin air, back to his home. Everyone quickly leaves the meeting to go fight against the oncoming forces.

The thief remained. She sits down on the ground before putting the crown back into her bag and running for her life into the impending darkness of the forest.

Chapter 5: Now le Adventure Begins!

In the fields of Rutlan...

The troops of Haidere assembled. The queen had gotten the letter from Queen of Lovelace that they would fight, but their forces were dead. It almost made the Queen of Haidere want to reject their help but instead, she accepted.

She lead her troop with Oli and Callam, followed by their servants and their knight and sword crafter. From there, they meet halfway between the kingdoms to meet with Lovelace.

Queen Liza look dumbfounded. Her and Colin were having a small conversation before they looked up at the King and Queen of Haidere.

“We shall accompany you through the Dark Forest. And, as requested by Prince KEAP, we shall guard the tower from any defending forces as you save your daughters.” Liza’s eyes meet with Mia’s for a second.

Mia steps forward, holding the stare. “Thank you, Liza.”

“You are welcome,” she replies. Liza turns around and does a head count of her people and nods. “All here. You?”

Mia turns and takes a quick count and turns back. “All here. Shall we head off?”

“Yes we shall,” Colin replies. With that, the two forces head off into the forest to meet their first match. They shall fight several creatures, they all knew that.

But just which creature was first? No one knew.

However, what Liza did know was that there was a thief in that forest. They had her crown. She would kill their ass over it. Mount their head on the wall. Ya know, the usual.

In the Evil Tower of Wes...

The Princesses were very pissed off by now. Emma kept screaming at Wes to give her the clothes from her room rather than the peasant clothes. He always just laughed in her face and walked away.

Dani was throwing stuff at the wall randomly. Wes came, anger bubbling beneath his eyes. "WHAT'S ALL THE RACKET FOR YOU PEASANT?!" he shouts at her.

"GIMMIE SOMETHING SO I CAN WRITE ON THE WALL YOU WHORE!" she shouted. Wes stormed away to return with a small piece of metal.

"Write you whore," he says, throwing it at her. She took the piece of metal and stuck her tongue out at him. She scooted over to the wall and started to write KEAP's name all over the wall.

Anna, meanwhile, was crying. "I want my stuffed animals," she said, tears in her eyes.

Wes walked over and sighed. "YOU AIN'T GETTIN' NO STUFFED ANIMALS YOU BITCH!" he said, annoyed with the Princesses now.

"But... But..." She then broke into more tears and Wes gave a loud scream of annoyance and went to check on Caylin.

Caylin was messing with her hair, bored. She looked up and saw Wes. She stood up and went to the prison door.

"Wes babe, why am I still in here? I need your love babe," she says. Wes rolled his eyes.

"Caylin babe, I know you just want me in there so you can knock my ass out and run away," he says, stating what is pretty much the obvs.

"But Wes babe, I need you. I am feeling horny," he says.

"UGH! YOU ANNOYING WHORES, JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!" Wes snapped his fingers and disappeared from the castle and went to the Dark Forest.

Emma gave another annoyed scream. "COME BACK HERE YOU WIMP!"

In the Ominious Dark Forest...

"I TOLD YOU TO BE READY AT 5!" Berry shouted at Darcy. Darcy rolled her eyes.

"I've already set up a spell to where they'll turn on each other. It'll activate around this area of the forest, darling," she replied and Berry started to bubble.


"I'm oh so sorry my magesty," she said sarcastically. "My dearest apologies."

"Just... Make sure the other forces are ready," Berry hisses. She slinks away, back into the darkness. The last you see is of her blue wings.

Back with Haidere and Lovelace now...

Liza fumbled around in her bag which was in the TARDIS. Justin was going to fly them to the castle but apparently the place was time-locked. The entire damn forest, too.

So instead, Liza was using it as a storage as they dragged it along. All of Lovelace and all of Haidere.

While they were resting and drinking tea, Colin tapped her on the shoulder. "Uh, darling? Where is your crown?" he asks.

"That damned thief took it," she mutters, a dead look in her eyes. Suddenly, her eyes snap up as KEAP walks over.

"Mother, we must hurry! We must save Dani!" he says rushed.

Liza stares at him skeptically. "What about the others?"

"YES! THEM TOO! BUT MAINLY DANI!" he shouts. A crow then screeches. The crow flies down and lands on the ground almost gracefully. It starts to cough as it twists and turns in awkward positions as Berry then stands there. Oli and Mia walk over, confusion in their eyes.

"Hello, Queens, Kings and royale courts. I come with news." A devious smile appears and the teeth glimmer beneath the blue lips. "I come to inform you that while you are semi-safe, there are obstacles. You want those princesses. We say no." She turns to leave when she suddenly turns around, her black eyes meeting Queen Liza's.

"Oh, Liza, your crown hides in this forest. A key to unlocking the living hell. Beware..." She then disappeared as everyone stares in astonishment.

"What. The. Hell?" Oli asks, looking at Liza. "Since when was your crown magical?"

"Since birth?" she asks, looking at everyone.

Suddenly, the screams of Kiki can be heard as everyone rushes off to go and save her.

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