Life is pretty hard right now. I mean it's good but it's not great. Everything is moving too fast and I'm just in the fog on what's happening. I can't go to this wiki- on the roleplaying wiki I was basically tortured, being told my tributes weren't good enough when I worked my ass off on them. I was also told that nobody trusted me there. That may be the case in real life as well because I cannot trust myself nor can I trust anyone around me. Everyone that I have ever trusted has broken the trust. Everything can be destroyed in seconds and that's basically how my trust was destroyed. Turns out those who I trusted the most ended up betraying me. I don't care if it was intended or not, the trust may be harder to build up.
Many of these users are the same ones that are on the roleplaying wiki. I am a major hunger games fangirl and it's hard knowing that the roleplaying wiki won't give me one more chance. Maybe if I had a chance...
No one has ever given me a chance. I had no chance to improve upon my actions, instead saying one thing caused this whole disaster to happen. I fantasize about what would have happened if I were never banned and it hurts to be here. I can't even talk to anyone here anymore because I know I'll be next to Isabelle. Oh and Sean in their eyes. I'm more than that. That wiki was my home and now I'm just on the streets, wishing I could go back to where my heart belongs.
I need to focus on real life a bit more. I have reduced the amount of time I've been on wiki, but my parents are now having all of my marks emailed to them as they have noticed a significant drop from my high grades since October (gee I wonder why). I can't focus on anything anymore, I'll just end up day-dreaming, doodling or writing instead of paying attention. I just may need to deactivate.
I also am being STALKED on the roleplaying wiki. Some guy far away from where I live claims to know where I live and what my real name is. This is very scary for me as I have no idea who they are and what if I knew them. Everyone seems to think it's me. It's not. I have no idea who that person is and WHY they would do that to me. I know they are trying to save my life, but I'd rather be dead than be known as someone who harasses people. I wish I could tell them to STOP EFFING HARASSING THE WIKI! They are ruining everything I had worked towards, and now I am just like Isabelle even though I don't know who they are. It's a major threat to me as I could get GLOBAL blocked over someone else's actions. I hope they know that they have taken it WAY too farther than it ever needed to go.
I can't write tributes anymore without thinking about how bad they are or about the wiki. I think deactivating might just be the solution to every thing here. I will never forget the amazing times I have been with you guys, the tears I shed, the times I laughed over stupid things. I would pay anything, even my own life to get those back.
Blake if it would help me get unbanned, would you mind passing this on to the wiki? Thank you!
anyways i was treated horribly there and nothing will make for the torture I endured there, even though the worst torture is not there, the place that I love.
One last thing: Everyone tells me to "move on". But you wouldn't tell someone to move on if they had lost someone they loved. Losing that wiki was like losing my best friend.