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Hi everyone, this is a parody of the hunger games, I've written The Humor Games (the 134th hunger games) and the 1 1/2 Humor Games. So, I hope you like it and be ready, it going to pretty funny. SPOILER ALERT: This will include some details from the book so, if you haven't read them and you don't want to spoil the surprise, then I suggest not reading this :)
Great. Just great. Today is the Best day Ever. Otherwise known as the reapings. And chances are I'll be going into the Fun-Day Games. Mostly because I'm going to volunteer. My sister Prim comes up to me, "well Katniss your looking worse than usual today." man, she's irritating. My rival Gale (stupid name huh) comes up to me. "so, I hear your volunteering, it will be a lot nicer around here when your gone" just for that I kick him so hard he goes rolling across the ground. When I get to the square the mayors daughter comes up to me and throws something at me. It's a pin with a headless chicken on it. "It really suits you Katniss" so, I stab her with the pin, and listen to the reapings. For the boys: Peeta Meelark. Great they just had to pick the biggest, weenie here. Plus, he's had this stupid crush on me forever. I just can't ditch him. For the girls: Katniss Everdeen. Well that saved some time. "I wanted to be in the games anyway!" I yell at our escort. Peeta looks at me and I can tell, this is going to be a LONG train ride.
AT THE CAPITOL:
Wow, everything is so shiny here. Just like Katniss's hair. Katniss... Why doesnt she like me? "PEETA! That is a table cloth, I know it looks pretty but, don't eat it." she treats me like and idiot. "I wasn't going to!" sigh, that's when a see someone ahead. "Hi, I'm Peeta, who are you?" she looks confused "I'm, umm, I'm..." "Her, names Glimmer. And she has short term memory loss, and one more thing, SHE'S MINE!" why does everyone hate me? "Oh, Thresh, don't be mean to him." "glimmer, we've been over this, I'm Marvel and that over there is Thresh" he says in a kind voice, then Thresh walks over, and we talk for a bit and what I hear is of you see a girl named Rue, beware shes really mean. What kind of place is this?
I'm walking around the training center when I see the two people from district two arguing, "c'mon Clove, why not?" he asks "How many times do I have to say this NO!" the girl named Clove says. As she walks away I ask her, "what was that about?" "Oh, that was Cato, my district partner, he's been trying for years to get me to like him and he always wants to go out with me" wow, this is a lot like me and Peeta. I tell her the deal with us. "small world huh? She says "you have no idea."
I'm looking around some more and I run into a girl. "Hi, who are you? I'm Foxface, or that's what my friends call, me but anyway how are you?" "oh, I'm-" "I KNOW right! I'm freaked out about the games, but it will still be fun!" wow, she talks a lot! And really fast too. I walk up to Katniss "want to be allies, I just met a bunch of other people, can we be allies with them too? PPPPPLLLLLEEEEAAAASSSSEEE!" he rolls her eyes "fine, I don't know why but, I guess so, now let's fo talk to some of the people you met and soon, I'm in a group with, Glimmer, Marvel, Thresh, Cato, Clove, Foxface, and by demand by her, Rue.
This will be an interesting time. I'm only paired with those other people because, Glimmer wanted too join them. I love her, but sometimes it's hard. She never remembers who I am, or anyone else. At least she likes me too, unlike the whole Cato and Clove deal, it's not her fault. Sigh, what am I going to do now?
This place is HUGE! Everyone here is so amazing, except Rue, she said I'm irritating and way to talkative. I look over and see Clove talking to Rue and I can tell she's mad. I walk over and ask Clove what's going on. "Rue, thats what's going on." and she storms away. "What are you looking at chatterbox?" I so sick of that, so I throw a roll at her from the food table. But, she catches it and takes a bite. This isn't going to be as great as I thought it would.
I can't believed I allied with Peeta. Well, I guess it doesn't matter because, he'll just die in the beginning anyway. Me and Clove have lot in common, and Thresh seems pretty cool. And Foxface, well, she can throw a roll pretty hard. "Hey, where did Cato go?" says Foxface. "Oh, rue locked him and Peeta in a closet" says Clove. "Why?" "probably some kind of joke, it sounds like something she would do" says Thresh. "oh" i guess it does. Then we hear a crashing sound from the janitors closet. And smoke starts pouring out the door. "there they are now" says Rue as she walks over. Then there's an explosion, and the door flies open, Cato walks out while dragging Peeta behind him. "hey Katniss, can you tell your partner to be quiet." "what was that explosion?" "another one of Rues jokes, Vinegar with super charged baking soda." it looks like Peeta took most of it since now he's hiding in the corner from Rue. Then Cato starts walking over to Rue, and I would say she should start running now. She does, and 3min later they crash into an indoor palm tree. "so, are we going to eat lunch now or what?" "sounds good to me" so we do.
I am so mad right now! And it's not because I have a palm tree on my head. Well, actually that's part of it but, anyway. Now we're eating lunch, but it took me 10 min. to drag Peeta out of that corner. "Peeta! Come on!" now he's back in the corner. He can just stay there. "Peeta! If you get over here you can sit next to me!" shouts Katniss and hes over here in 10 seconds. "that would of saved ten minutes of my life earlier." why is this palm tree still on my head? I take it off and throw it at Rue. She deserved it. "Cato, what about the gecko?" says Katniss. "the gecko?" what gecko? "the one that was in the palm tree, now it's on your shoulder." I look over, oh what do you know there is a gecko. And as soon as Peeta sees the gecko he's back in the corner. I look over and see that there's a bunch of geckos on me now. "can someone slam my head in a door?"
Those geckos are creepy. It's not even worth sitting next to Katniss to be near them. Cato throws one of the geckos and it lands on me! "AAAHHH!" over I at the table everyone's laughing and Cato says "I told you guys he would freak out!" Foxface walks over and picks up the gecko. "You ok?" she asks "yeah, I'm fine." and she walks away. She's nice. I walk over to the table and sit next to Katniss again, ok it IS worth it. All of the sudden I hear the words, "PIE FIGHT!" Oh. No.
A pie fight! We get into teams, me and Marvel, Katniss and Thresh, Rue and Cato, and Peeta and Clove. YES! Remembered they're names! We hide behind tables and the fight begins. Katniss throws the first one at... Foxface? No, no, I mean Clove. I throw a pudding one at Thresh. Then Rue throws one at Cato. "Hey! We're partners!" he says. "i know." and she throws more at him. Then everyone starts throwing them at Cato and soon he's covered with a mountain of pie! Next i get a Boston cream in the face and I start laughing so hard. Marvel starts nailing my attacker with pies. And now Clove is yelling at Peeta. "Peeta! Stop eating all the ammo!" yells Clove. "But, it tastes SO good!" This is awesome!
After an HOUR of pie the fight is over. We're still trying to find Cato under the 10 foot mountain of pie. And My idiot partner is lying on the ground. I swear he ate like 30 pies. I still have whipped cream in my hair. We finally find Cato. I can't tell if he's still alive? Oh, wait, he's fine. "Peeta! Get off the Ground!" the only reply I get is more moaning. "what wrong with him?" asks Thresh. "30 pies and that will happen." says Katniss. Rue kicks Cato in the stomach. "WAKE UP!" ok, he's up now, and he's going to feel that in the morning. On the bright side, he still has the geckos.
THE DAY OF THE GAMES:
We're about to go up ton the arena. "Go, in the transport tube!" says my stylist, "NO!" then he shoves me in. In the arena you have to wear shock collers so you can't escape, and the gamemakes can shock you whenever they want. Fun huh? Ok, now I'm in the arena and it looks like we're in a meadow surrounded by a forest. GONG! The next 5min is a blur, what I remember is ketchup everywhere, lots and lots of ketchup. In a while me and my allies have the cornucopia taken over. "that went well." I say. "yeah, except for Peeta getting hit withnthat frying pan." oh, what do you know, he did.
It's dusk in the arena. We just set up a campfire and someone got out the marshmallows. "Rue, can you pass the marshmallows?" she looks at me and says, " don't think you need anymore of those." wow, the is evil. The Cato says, "you don't need to be such a jerk". "Look whos talking, the guy who's tried his whole life to get one girl to like him" she says. That's harsh. Then Peeta says, "Come on, there's nothing wrong with liking someone." then Rue says, "That's a lie and I think YOU would understand that the best lover boy." At that remark Peeta and Cato both lunge at rue, only for her to move and them to collide with a rock. That's got to hurt.
We're still at the campfire when I have a great idea. "we should all have code names" I say, then rue says, "I have some: Peeta: Lover boy 1, Katniss: Heartless, Thresh: grizzly, Marvel: not MARVELous, Cato: lover boy 2, Clove: better without him, Foxface: chatterbox, Glimmer: forget-me-not". I'm looking at Cato now, and I didn't think it was possible for anyone's face to get that red. Oh wow he's mad. He grabs some of the flaming marshmallows on sticks. And starts throwing them at Rue. But, she grabs a marshmallow shooter that hold 3,000 mini marshmallows, and starts shooting the marshmallows, SEVERAL MIN. LATER: Cato looks like a marshmallow monster, and Rues laughing her head off.
I just woke up this morning and guess what? There are like, 30 geckos on top of me! Why can't Clove like me as much as these geckos? All of the geckos are different species, I see a house gecko, a leopard gecko, even a flying gecko, but my favorite is the big, bright, green, giant day gecko. Then, I have an idea, I pick up the day gecko and drop it on rue, and she wakes up. "EEEKKKK!" ha! I finally got back at her. Then, I look up and see a giant flying bird with spikes shooting out of it's tail! "GUYS! WAKE UP!" and they do, and we start fighting, then Glimmer says, "Stab it in the wing joint, it's aerodynamics can't support it with one wing and we can fight it on the ground when it vulnerable!" everyone looks at her surprised and Marvel says, "what, like I said she's really smart, she just has trouble remembering things." "who?" she says. "point proven Marvel." say Foxface. And we do what she says and soon, we defeat the bird.
Well, it's time for another campfire. It's about 8 pm at night. And then I have an idea, "let's play truth or dare" everyone agrees except Peeta that is. "ok, I'll go first, Foxface, truth or dare?" she thinks for a second. "Truth" ok then, "what's your real name?" she looks surprised, "Leah Sweet Rose and no I'm not kidding, the worst part is what my initials spell out, LSR which is why 50% of people back home call my loser." wow "I'm sorry I asked". Now It's her turn "Ok, Clove, truth or dare?" "dare" she smiles evilly "I dare you to kiss Cato" OMG! This is hilarious Cato is smiling and Clove looks like she's gonna throw up. "fine..." and she does it and the second after she runs away and does throw up. "magical..." Cato is totally spaced out. Clove yells from the forest: "Cato, truth or dare?" "Dare" "ok, then kiss you gecko friend!" and instead the gecko bites him. I guess that's it for tonight.
Everyone else is asleep, but i'm not. I can't stop thinking about tonight. I kissed Cato, I mean I threw up after but still, I KISSED him! It was a dare I know, but he likes me so much. But, I just don't like him back! But, he doesn't care, why? His crush on me has lasted since we first met. FLASHBACK: it was the first day of kindergarden. I was hanging out with some of my friends. Then, Cato and some of his friends came over, and he said "You're pretty." so, I threw a rock at him, but ever since then, he's been following me around. And he says it's not just for my looks or anything. But, I would always reject him. END OF FLASHBACK. But, then I remember something, something, it's just a blur, a thought I think I tried to get rid of: we were still young, maybe 7 or 8, we were outside, and I was near the forest, and, I heard a scream... I ran to it and I find, Cato surrounded by rocks and cornered by a wolf, and it was rabid, I could see the foam in it's mouth and he looked hunger. I picked up a stick and started to beat it and it ran away. I saved his life... That's why! Well, on top of everything else. And all these years I've been so mean to him... I'm a monster.
GAMEMAKER: we have a rule change! If your alliance it the only one left, than everyone from the alliance will win!
It's the next morning and and we just heard the announcement! We can all win, and if we count all of the cannons than it's us and one person left! BOOM! Wait... We just one! And we haven't done anything the whole time! Cato, walks up to Clove and says "Clove-" she stops him and says "yes, I'll go out with you" "that's not what I was going to say!" "really, I dont think so." she says "ok, no your right that's what I was going to ask"
GAMEMAKER: and we have our winners!
CATO & CLOVE'S FIRST DATE:
Me and Clove are in the Capitol and it's almost time for our first date! This HAS to go perfect! She walks in wearing a sparkly purple dress with flower designs on it. "wow, you look... AMAZING!" she smiles and we sit down "Hey Cato, there's another gecko on you..." what's with these things! I knock it off but, it lands in her drink and she jumps back into a chocolate fountain and it explodes! Then, popcorn goes everywhere! We didn't even order popcorn! I can't believe this happened! and I run up to the roof. A few minutes later, the roof door opens, and out comes a chocolate covered Clove. "I- I'm sorry I never meant for this to happen!" I say. "I know you didn't" and she leans in and KISSES ME! "best date ever" and it really is.
KATNISS & PEETA'S FIRST DATE:
Peeta finally broke me down and now I'm on my way to our first, AND LAST, date. I walk into forest where he said to meet him and when i get there, I'm surprised. There are streamers EVERYWHERE! And glitter, again, EVERYWHERE! "Hi, Katniss" he says and he gives me a bouquet of flowers. "Thanks Peeta, I like the ummm, glitter" I say "you wouldn't BELIEVE how long it took to get glitter and streamers to stay in those trees!" After we eat dinner (which consisted of pie, and... Nope that was it) and after, we're sitting by a small pond, watching the sunset. He looks at me, oh no he's NOT! "No." I say. "but? Why not" he asks "well... Fine. But just once! Got it?" he looks at me and says "deal" and we kiss, well, it wasn't
Clove and Cato are still dating. Peeta and Katniss, well, it's complicated. Marvel is still with Glimmer and her memory gets better every day. Thresh and Rue's lives are good, well, Rue will be her evil self. Foxface now gets the respect she deserves. So, all in all, everything turned out good.
If you want to find out what happened to Cato and Clove before this parody read this: http://thehungergames.wikia.com/wiki/User_blog:Tiger_Lily29/The_Story_Of_Cato_%26_Clove:_A_Parody
If you want to find out what happened to Marvel and Glimmer before this parody read this: http://thehungergames.wikia.com/wiki/User_blog:Tiger_Lily29/The_Story_Of_Marvel_%26_Glimmer:_A_Parody
I'm also writing another unrelated Parody of The Hunger Games: http://thehungergames.wikia.com/wiki/User_blog:Tiger_Lily29/Katniss_and_the_Capitol:_A_Parody (it's about Capitol game shows and parties and things like that)
Now I'm writing a hunger games, with a prehistoric arena: http://thehungergames.wikia.com/wiki/User_blog:Tiger_Lily29/The_Jurassic_Games